Emma Lin's B-day and easter

Well its been a while, so much has happened these last couple of months. The first big one is Emma Lin turned 2. Wow its still hard to beleive. She is a little person now. Doing so much on her own. She is very independent,but yet still loves for me to hold and cuddle her. We had a great birthday weekend. Her birthday was Friday, April 15. After she went to bed Thurs. night I decorated the whole house with balloons, princess decorations and birthday banners and even had the dining room table all set up for dinner Friday night. She woke up and DAddy brought her downstairs while I filmed. the first thing that caught her eye was all the ballons. She loved waking around the house pointing out all the princess and even put her party hat on and let me take pics. She love blowing her horns, it took her a while to figure it out, but in no time she was a pro at it. We made ham and eggs for breakfest and put a candle in her food and sung Happy birthday. AFter that we went to Music class. Ryan took off from work and was able to spend the whole day with us. My mom even meet up with us for music class. We bought munchkins and gave them out to the class. Emma was so funny she loved giving them out. We then when home for some fun time in the yard and a nap. After nap we had dinner with the family. I found a dress with the disney princesses on it to match all the decorations. Emma favorite part was the singing and blowing out the candles. We really had fun. On Sunday we had a big party for her with all her cousins and friends. It was a cowgirl theme party with a real pony rides and a petting zoo in our backyard. It was so much fun. All the kids and adults loved it. It really turned out to be a great day and all the kids got along great. Emma got some really great gifts and loves playing with her bubble blower the best.
The day was bitter sweet for me. I often thought about her birth parents and wonder what they were doing that day? I never thought before I had Emma that I would wonder about them as much as I do. Its really hard not knowing them. When I look at her and see how beautiful she is I wonder what they look like? I wish I could right a letter to them and tell them about her.
I also got two pictures of Emma from the SWI where she is from. That was such a great gift for me and for Emma when she is older. I love looking at those two pic and seeing her tiny face. I have it saved on my phone to look at everyday and to remind myself how truly blessed I am to be her mom. I remember what she must of went thought those first couple days of her birth with no one ther to hold her or love her and what a little fighter we have. I am forever grateful to all the people in China who kept her alive and brought her to us. I wish China wasn't so far and I could back for the day and just visit the SWI. I wish I understood Chinese so I could call and speak to them. Our little angel is so adjusted that I just would like to tell them thank you. She fits into not just me and ryan lives perfectly, but to our whole family perfetly.
Easter was great she loved the bunny which is funny because she did not like SAnta at all. Loved Loved Loved going on egg hunts. I really hid the eggs at our house and she did a great job finding them.
Well our 1 year home is alomost here, I can't remember life with out her. It amazing me that she is only here with us for a month. Can't wait to celebrate gottcha day on June 13!

Our little munchkin is growing like a weed. Her hair is coming in nicely, she is finally out of 12 months cloths and into 18 months even though she will be 2 in a couple weeks. She is doing great, she knows her ABC'S And can count to 10. She can spell out E M M A for us and is talking up a storm. She sings all the time even though most of her singing we can't understand. She is potty trained and is doing great. I do put pull ups on her when we are out for a while, just in case I can't find a bathroom. But for the most part she can hold it until I find one. We go to gym class once a week and she loves it. She can tumble, walk and jump forward and backwards. She can hold her self on the bar and do a flip around that and walk on the balance beam. We go to music class once a week to and she just loves dancing and signing and playing with the instruments. She still doesn't really like to play with the other kids, but watching the non adopted child I don't think they really like to play with each other either. Since she is an only child I don't think that is really going to change any time soon.
Me and Ryan have been thinking a lot lately if we want to adopt another little girl.
We will be home for a year in June so if we choose to, that is when we can start the process. I have such mixed feelings. I would love for Emma to have a sister. I know I couldn't image my life with out my sister. I love having her around. It makes me sad to think that when Emma is older she wouldn't have any siblings. But in the same sense, we can do so much for her if she is an only child. The attention, we could pay for a lot of things for her, like a private school, car college. With two that would be much more difficult. Right now she has all of time and attention which I know she loves. If you look away for a second she is calling your name. How would she handle it if we were giving a new child so much of our time. I know that she won't be little forever and I have to look at the bigger picture. As a mom I love her so much I often look at families that have more then one child and think how could they love so many child, but I know that is just dumb, because I never felt less loved then my sister. I know my heart would love another child as much as I love Emma. One thing is for sure, before we adopted her I didn't think I could love a child as much as I love her. You really have no idea how much until you hold them see them. Everyday I look at her and say I just love you, it really is the greatest thing in the whole wide world. Another thing we keep saying to each other is Emma is just so perfect do we chance it with another one. What I am saying here, is that she bonded with us so perfectly, she is a good sleeper, takes great naps, eats well, no medical issues, loves going over to my parents house. How we handle a new child who didn't do all these things?? If Emma didn't do them, then I guess we wouldn't even care. I know so many people who have the 2nd child weather adopted or bio that say if I would of have them 1st I would of stop there. Not that they love them any less, it just more work. I will admit I a little lazy, I do like my free time and Emma at times let me be lazy I think she enjoys being lazy on days. I even get some time for my self. So the big question is
should we??? or should we not???. I love the idea of having two little girls running around playing with each other, getting to put cute cloths on two little ones. Teaching the ABc and 123 again. Watching another little one grow. What to do, hopefully time will tell.

potty

Emma pee peed on the potty today all by herself. I was super excitec and even shed a happy tear! Or maybe a sad tear, knowing now that she is turning into a big girl!
It a real step of independence I am not sure I am quit ready for her turning into a big a girl. But no matter what I am super proud. I think she thought I was nuts the way I was acting. Can't wait till the next time!

Happy New Year

reading over some old posts

Since it has been a year since I first saw my daughter's face, I decided to read over all my old blog entries from last year. I came across this one.


Thursday, April 29, 2010
Article 5
Well today is suppose to be the official day we start waiting for our TA! Hopefully we will hear something in the next 3 weeks. While I been waiting to meet little Emma Lin, I am tring to image what she will be like. So I decided to make a list of guesses from her pics what she will be like and compare the list when she comes home to see how right or wrong I was.
Well first I definitely think she is a happy baby
she likes attention and is proud when she does something
she lets you know when she does not like something with a pouty face
loves to hold things in her hands
friendly and likes people
she is going to be full of energy
likes to get her way
wont like to share
Well hopefully next month I will know if I am right or wrong.
All I know is that whatever kind of personality She has I just can't wait to meet her and hold her in my arms. Time is going by so slow and I can't wait to meet my baby!

Well I am laughing as I am reading this. I pegged her right on the nose.
She is a very happy baby, loves attetention and is super proud of herself when she does something new or fun.
She has this awesome pouty face she gives when she doesn't want to do something or when she doesn't like something.
she loves to hold things in her hands especially pens, pencils and crayons
Likes people, she is full of energy and loves to get her own way. As far as the sharing goes, it depends on who she is sharing with.

1 year ago

This date 1 year ago I became a mom. I remember getting a email from our agency saying the new special needs list would come out Monday night our time. I remember it saying we will call you at 9am to let you know if you will receive a referral. If you don't hear from us we will call you later in the day to let you know there was no matches for you. I can easily remember that day. Being super excited. Not telling my family, for two reasons, one I wanted it to be a surprise for them if we did receive a referral and two if we didn't I didn't want to listen to the comments of it wasn't meant to happen this time. I can remember the day, heck even the week like it was yesterday. I woke up and i soon as I went to the bathroom, let the dogs out and fed them. I opened my laptop hoping for an email form our agency. and bam there it was. Telling me the list would come out. So now I had to plan this day to be busy and keep my mind from wondering. I asked my husband to say home from work Tues. he replied "I don't know why, we are not getting a referral tomorrow. Sorry I am not taking off from work" I remember being so mad and frustrated. My feeling being hurt and thinking he didn't care. But he really did, that was his way of dealing. He thought if I go to work we will receive a referral, if I say home we wont'. After reading my emails and writing some emails. reading blogs, rumour queen somehow if I read them I would know answers. I took a showere went to work and then headed over to a friends house for dinner. Staying longer then I should have, but it kept me busy and my mind from wondering to the what ifs. I called my friend and ask her to come over Tues morning and sit with me while I waited for either good news or bad. At this point only me, my husband and fried knew about the possible call. I barely sleep Monday night. I sat on my couch and watched allot of TV. I don't think I put my laptop down, just in case my social worker emailed before 9am tues morning. I think I got a total of 2 hours sleep that night. I was up around 6am. Emailing two other families that were also expected to received a referral. Waiting impatioenly for 9am to come. My friend came over around 8am and we sat and talked. (which really was me pacing and her sitting) I hit refresh over and over on my email. and then bam at 9am there is was. The words Zhang Qi Fu in the subject. I remember thinking how do you pronounced that (Gung T Fu). Me and my Friend sat there as I couldn't open the attachments and she said just relax take a deep breath and it will open. And then their it was a beautiful pic of this tiny little girl in a walker, then the pic that made me fall in love. this little girl in a blue snow suit with a Hugh smile on her face. and that was it. I was in love. I didn't need to read any ting. I didn't care what her special needs were I knew she was my daughter. Me and my friend laughed and smiled at how cute she was. Read all about her and called my husband and guess what? No answer. Think I call him about 5 times before I got hold of him. He then downloaded and printed out the paper work on Zhang Qi Fu and took it to his family doc. for his opion and then came home. We both knew this little girl found her home.
Of course I couldn't wait to tell my parents and sister. I remember calling them and asking them to come over. I never do this without giving them a reason. My sister got there first. When she walked in the door I said we are in the dining room. I could tell from the look on her face she was a little worried as to why I ask her to come over immediately. I handed her the pic of Qi fu and said meet you niece. She hugged us and couldn't stop looking at the pic and telling us how cute she was. Then shortly after my parents got there. They really thought something was wrong. First I normally work Tues morning and I was home and so was Ryan. They thought something happened to him. My mom was shaking they walked into the dining room and I said we got a referral handed them the pic. My mom hugged me for what felt like a hour. She couldn't get over how cute and happy she looked. She was in love to. My dad said wow she a chunker. Leave it to my dad to say something like that. They all stayed while we talked about her needs. Went over our concerns and came to only one conclusion, She is our daughter. and if the worst happens then she was meant to be with us and not alone in an orphanage somewhere. At that time we thougth she had breathing problems. Possibly lung or heart problems. So we ok with that. What ever was meant to be would be. We couldn't be more blessed with a happy and healthy child. That whole week was really the best week of my life. It was my birthday a couple days later and it really was the best birthday ever. WE went out for Chinese food that night for dinner to celebrate. Emma lin was 9 months old then and now she is 21 months. Boy does time go fast. I can't believe we will be hitting the terrible 2's stage soon, but for some reason I thinkg it's going to be the awesome 2's. She is the love of my life and I couldn't be more thankful for all who had apart in finding Emma for us and helped us bring her home. Happy rerrall day!!!!