1 year ago

This date 1 year ago I became a mom. I remember getting a email from our agency saying the new special needs list would come out Monday night our time. I remember it saying we will call you at 9am to let you know if you will receive a referral. If you don't hear from us we will call you later in the day to let you know there was no matches for you. I can easily remember that day. Being super excited. Not telling my family, for two reasons, one I wanted it to be a surprise for them if we did receive a referral and two if we didn't I didn't want to listen to the comments of it wasn't meant to happen this time. I can remember the day, heck even the week like it was yesterday. I woke up and i soon as I went to the bathroom, let the dogs out and fed them. I opened my laptop hoping for an email form our agency. and bam there it was. Telling me the list would come out. So now I had to plan this day to be busy and keep my mind from wondering. I asked my husband to say home from work Tues. he replied "I don't know why, we are not getting a referral tomorrow. Sorry I am not taking off from work" I remember being so mad and frustrated. My feeling being hurt and thinking he didn't care. But he really did, that was his way of dealing. He thought if I go to work we will receive a referral, if I say home we wont'. After reading my emails and writing some emails. reading blogs, rumour queen somehow if I read them I would know answers. I took a showere went to work and then headed over to a friends house for dinner. Staying longer then I should have, but it kept me busy and my mind from wondering to the what ifs. I called my friend and ask her to come over Tues morning and sit with me while I waited for either good news or bad. At this point only me, my husband and fried knew about the possible call. I barely sleep Monday night. I sat on my couch and watched allot of TV. I don't think I put my laptop down, just in case my social worker emailed before 9am tues morning. I think I got a total of 2 hours sleep that night. I was up around 6am. Emailing two other families that were also expected to received a referral. Waiting impatioenly for 9am to come. My friend came over around 8am and we sat and talked. (which really was me pacing and her sitting) I hit refresh over and over on my email. and then bam at 9am there is was. The words Zhang Qi Fu in the subject. I remember thinking how do you pronounced that (Gung T Fu). Me and my Friend sat there as I couldn't open the attachments and she said just relax take a deep breath and it will open. And then their it was a beautiful pic of this tiny little girl in a walker, then the pic that made me fall in love. this little girl in a blue snow suit with a Hugh smile on her face. and that was it. I was in love. I didn't need to read any ting. I didn't care what her special needs were I knew she was my daughter. Me and my friend laughed and smiled at how cute she was. Read all about her and called my husband and guess what? No answer. Think I call him about 5 times before I got hold of him. He then downloaded and printed out the paper work on Zhang Qi Fu and took it to his family doc. for his opion and then came home. We both knew this little girl found her home.
Of course I couldn't wait to tell my parents and sister. I remember calling them and asking them to come over. I never do this without giving them a reason. My sister got there first. When she walked in the door I said we are in the dining room. I could tell from the look on her face she was a little worried as to why I ask her to come over immediately. I handed her the pic of Qi fu and said meet you niece. She hugged us and couldn't stop looking at the pic and telling us how cute she was. Then shortly after my parents got there. They really thought something was wrong. First I normally work Tues morning and I was home and so was Ryan. They thought something happened to him. My mom was shaking they walked into the dining room and I said we got a referral handed them the pic. My mom hugged me for what felt like a hour. She couldn't get over how cute and happy she looked. She was in love to. My dad said wow she a chunker. Leave it to my dad to say something like that. They all stayed while we talked about her needs. Went over our concerns and came to only one conclusion, She is our daughter. and if the worst happens then she was meant to be with us and not alone in an orphanage somewhere. At that time we thougth she had breathing problems. Possibly lung or heart problems. So we ok with that. What ever was meant to be would be. We couldn't be more blessed with a happy and healthy child. That whole week was really the best week of my life. It was my birthday a couple days later and it really was the best birthday ever. WE went out for Chinese food that night for dinner to celebrate. Emma lin was 9 months old then and now she is 21 months. Boy does time go fast. I can't believe we will be hitting the terrible 2's stage soon, but for some reason I thinkg it's going to be the awesome 2's. She is the love of my life and I couldn't be more thankful for all who had apart in finding Emma for us and helped us bring her home. Happy rerrall day!!!!